I don’t have officially diagnosed leporiphobia, but I have a healthy fear of them. Once bitten, as they say, and I was. My friend had a mommy rabbit with cute baby bunnies, and I got between the doe rabbit and her babies. She drew blood with her rabbitty fangs, and gave me the most furious look- furious looks seem much worse with albino-pink eyes.
Come to think of it, I also got my first dog-bite and first bee sting at that same friend’s house circa aged five.
I digress. Rabbits do, however, possess mystical powers. They do not, in reality, exist. I can prove it: I once spent an entire holiday attempting to photograph fields teeming with them from the window of a moving car, they were running really fast- my family saw them, too, and yet, not one photo shows anything approaching a rabbit! Just blurry fields. Now YOU explain that!
Tonight, he will come, lurching through the neighbourhood, with his strange elongated paws, and his staring pink eyes, looking for children, seeking them out… Lock your doors people, I tell you, evil is afoot!
*Could be payback for the ‘indian’ headdress I got when we lived in Canada as a child- had real rabbit’s feet on either side- they were considered lucky, but for the rabbit? Not so much.
Come to think of it, I also got my first dog-bite and first bee sting at that same friend’s house circa aged five.
I digress. Rabbits do, however, possess mystical powers. They do not, in reality, exist. I can prove it: I once spent an entire holiday attempting to photograph fields teeming with them from the window of a moving car, they were running really fast- my family saw them, too, and yet, not one photo shows anything approaching a rabbit! Just blurry fields. Now YOU explain that!
Tonight, he will come, lurching through the neighbourhood, with his strange elongated paws, and his staring pink eyes, looking for children, seeking them out… Lock your doors people, I tell you, evil is afoot!
*Could be payback for the ‘indian’ headdress I got when we lived in Canada as a child- had real rabbit’s feet on either side- they were considered lucky, but for the rabbit? Not so much.
Okay... now I'm a little afraid of your friend...
ReplyDeleteHe is now about 6 foot five- a massive hairy Scottish farmer, but a complete softy. He doesn't farm rabbits.
ReplyDeleteI really wouldn't blame it on the bunnies, it was simply your friend's familiars, see -- he forgot to tell you that he was a witch and that his familiars were very territorial. Seriously, I'm Pagan, I know these things!
ReplyDeleteOh, and since he's a large Scottish farmer, you probably shouldn't tell him about my inference to his possible witchcraft activities, Scottish country folk don't seem to care much for those allegations ;-)
ReplyDeleteYes but will you be EATING what the horrid rabbit leaves in your garden?
ReplyDelete@Sam: I for one hate it when bunnies get too familiar...
ReplyDelete@supermom: You mean those wee pellets that look like raisins? They are very wholesome, sprinkled in with muesli.