The OTHER Stages of Grief

• Uhmming and aaahing about deleting the dead person’s number from your phonebook or contacts list. Because you really want a corpse to skype you?
• Uncontrollable laughter: When you get together with family and laugh until you cry, sometimes even losing control of your bladder slightly.
• Temporary alcohol abuse: And ANOTHER toast to the deceased, the hangover won’t matter- we’re aliiiive!
• Rooting through CD/book collections- heck it isn’t like they need this stuff anymore, and, besides, they borrowed stuff and never returned it.
• Trying to find suitable clothes to wear to the memorial service, knowing that you’ll forever think of them as ‘the death clothes’ and not be able to wear them.
• Disappointment: The inheritance left to you was scarcely enough to cover the cost of the Death Clothes.
• Amateur genetics: Wondering about the likelihood of you inheriting that one rogue gene which felled your relative.
• Supermarket Syndrome: Isn’t that XXX squeezing the mangoes in the fresh produce aisle? Because all dead people love to hang around supermarkets.
• Meteorology: Finding a patch of mountain/ocean where the wind is not blowing in such a way as to coat you with scattered ashes.
• Mortal politeness: Realising that you are elbowing your way to the front of the family queue in terms of expiration eligibility, and really wanting someone else to go first.
  
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There’s just something innately amusing about death. Birth? Sure, everybody treats it with the awe and mystique it deserves. Death- Well, you can’t take it too seriously, can you?