Here are some thoughts about citrus fruits. Sit back, grab something with a dimpled skin (Noooo not your wife! Are you mad?) And relax.
If I was a lime, I’d be quite peeved. I’m a fresh green colour, and rather sweet, so why do they call it ‘lime-washing’ when they paint something white?
And why, for the love of Mike*, do they call it Liming, when they pour white crap into a mass grave after some terrible genocidal atrocity? The only thing that cheers me up is that English people are rarely called ‘limeys’ anymore. Rant over.
And lemons. Why is a really crappy car called a ‘lemon’? Huh? Why not a quince, or a kiwi fruit? I happen to be sweeter than the other citrus fruits, and without me, the tequila industry would experience a serious swan-dive, as tequila tastes, let’s be honest, like toes. Before I leave you with a sour taste, let’s just all ponder on the use of lemon in cleaning agents. Why not avocado? Do lemons really smell clean?
This was supposed to be a theme, but I’m running out of citrus material. Go figure. So I’ll leave you with two thoughts, unattributed- but not mine.
There isn’t a word in the English dictionary which rhymes with orange. So all you poets with a muse stirring you to citrus-poetry, be warned.
And…
Knock-knock… Who’s there? Orange... Orange who? Orange you glad to see me? Hahahahahahahahahha
Sorry. Love talking bad jokes with my nine year old.
*no idea who Mike is, but he is very, very loved.
If I was a lime, I’d be quite peeved. I’m a fresh green colour, and rather sweet, so why do they call it ‘lime-washing’ when they paint something white?
And why, for the love of Mike*, do they call it Liming, when they pour white crap into a mass grave after some terrible genocidal atrocity? The only thing that cheers me up is that English people are rarely called ‘limeys’ anymore. Rant over.
And lemons. Why is a really crappy car called a ‘lemon’? Huh? Why not a quince, or a kiwi fruit? I happen to be sweeter than the other citrus fruits, and without me, the tequila industry would experience a serious swan-dive, as tequila tastes, let’s be honest, like toes. Before I leave you with a sour taste, let’s just all ponder on the use of lemon in cleaning agents. Why not avocado? Do lemons really smell clean?
This was supposed to be a theme, but I’m running out of citrus material. Go figure. So I’ll leave you with two thoughts, unattributed- but not mine.
There isn’t a word in the English dictionary which rhymes with orange. So all you poets with a muse stirring you to citrus-poetry, be warned.
And…
Knock-knock… Who’s there? Orange... Orange who? Orange you glad to see me? Hahahahahahahahahha
Sorry. Love talking bad jokes with my nine year old.
*no idea who Mike is, but he is very, very loved.
HELLLLOOOOOO BEEE, FAVE SIL! NEW BLOG SITE ALERT!!! YOU'LL LOVE HER. I KNOW I DO.
Posts
