It’s quite chilly here these days- you can never be sure how to dress. Get to work, do the onion thing, peel off the layers. The natural progression in thought is: Why do men have nipples?
The second thought is: Can the people opposite me see me trying to photograph mine?*
The third is: I hope those aren’t stored on the harddrive somewhere.
But really, why? I do recall sleepy babies in the summer months not opening their eyes, and trying to feed from me, but soon giving up.
I remember the more vindictive children at school twisting them as a ‘joke’. (I mean, not just mine, it was a phase they went through). Ha ha. Not.
I’m not a runner, but I’ve heard that male runners have to put tape over them to stop chafing.
I have watched bullies mock fat men about man-boobs.
I’ve seen them drawn on superhero costumes, and cast in bronze on the finest statuary. Lovingly painted in oils by Old Masters.
Yet no-one seems to know what they are for. Apparently, in the womb, by the time the male hormones kick in, the nipples are already formed. That sounds a bit like back-up-boobies to me.
It just comes as a surprise to notice them sometimes. There I am shaving my chin, and I’ll suddenly see them, just chilling in their nipply way. Hmm, I’ll think, there they are, my pointless nipples.
Given that there are people out there attracted to all sorts of deviancies, I have no doubt that there are individuals with some kind of male nipple thing going on, but I am not one.
They completely ruin a t-shirt on a cold day. Maybe there really could be a market for male stikinis- to smooth down unwanted erectile tissue? Anybody biting on that idea?
Didn’t think so.
I think it’s time we all got back on the bus and drove away from this part of the package tour to the body, wouldn’t you agree?
*Note: No nipple photographs will appear here, ever.
The second thought is: Can the people opposite me see me trying to photograph mine?*
The third is: I hope those aren’t stored on the harddrive somewhere.
But really, why? I do recall sleepy babies in the summer months not opening their eyes, and trying to feed from me, but soon giving up.
I remember the more vindictive children at school twisting them as a ‘joke’. (I mean, not just mine, it was a phase they went through). Ha ha. Not.
I’m not a runner, but I’ve heard that male runners have to put tape over them to stop chafing.
I have watched bullies mock fat men about man-boobs.
I’ve seen them drawn on superhero costumes, and cast in bronze on the finest statuary. Lovingly painted in oils by Old Masters.
Yet no-one seems to know what they are for. Apparently, in the womb, by the time the male hormones kick in, the nipples are already formed. That sounds a bit like back-up-boobies to me.
It just comes as a surprise to notice them sometimes. There I am shaving my chin, and I’ll suddenly see them, just chilling in their nipply way. Hmm, I’ll think, there they are, my pointless nipples.
Given that there are people out there attracted to all sorts of deviancies, I have no doubt that there are individuals with some kind of male nipple thing going on, but I am not one.
They completely ruin a t-shirt on a cold day. Maybe there really could be a market for male stikinis- to smooth down unwanted erectile tissue? Anybody biting on that idea?
Didn’t think so.
I think it’s time we all got back on the bus and drove away from this part of the package tour to the body, wouldn’t you agree?
*Note: No nipple photographs will appear here, ever.
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