It’s the little things that make up life. No! Not sperm cells and eggs, I mean the things that consume our time, fill in the gaps between birth and death.
It’s fairly easy to calculate how many hours are spent (wasted?) sleeping- average out a quantity over a month or so, and x by life expectancy. It should be easy, but whenever I do that, and include the amount of time spent cooking and eating, I always end up with a minus figure- I‘d have to live to the age of 150. Maths has never been a close personal friend- If mathematics tried to follow me on Twitter, I’d block it.
Small things: Whenever I have to cover school books, wrap presents or seal a garbage bag with a hacked up body in it, I kick myself for not owning a tape dispenser. Without fail, I have to search for the end of the sellotape with every piece needed. I try leaving a flap sticking up, or creating a small bulge, but it just vanishes. Those are minutes and hours I have wasted.
Searching for tools. I have a toolbox (I am MAN, hear me ROAAAR) but I always consider DIY finished when the picture is hung or the shelf screwed in. Tidying up afterwards doesn’t feature- in much the same way that men don’t fiddle around making salads for a braai (barbecue). What? I made FIRE! I cooked the meat! (ROAAAR).
Anyway. Finding the end of the toilet paper, looking for sharp thingies to take the metal seals off wine bottles, picking up lego which has just pierced the sole of my foot, picking up socks which fall on the ground when I’m hanging up the washing, waiting for the menu screen on DVDs…
My life has vanished into that black hole.
I won’t even mention the personal hygiene stuff: washing hands, brushing teeth, weeing, washing hands again (see?- not a complete slob). Then there is just tidying, washing clothes, ironing, ironing, ironing, changing nappies (lost about a year on that alone!), walking to the station, travelling by train, going to the shop to get groceries, going a second time because I forget stuff.
All this adds up. Which leaves me with approximately twelve seconds of ‘free’ time per day: seven to write stupid stuff on the internet, 4 to work, and one second of totally free time to just sit and enjoy life.
So in total, over my lifetime, I will (optimistically) have one minute and twenty seconds of metime. Unless I buy a tape dispenser, in which case I will gain approximately 52 years.
It’s fairly easy to calculate how many hours are spent (wasted?) sleeping- average out a quantity over a month or so, and x by life expectancy. It should be easy, but whenever I do that, and include the amount of time spent cooking and eating, I always end up with a minus figure- I‘d have to live to the age of 150. Maths has never been a close personal friend- If mathematics tried to follow me on Twitter, I’d block it.
Small things: Whenever I have to cover school books, wrap presents or seal a garbage bag with a hacked up body in it, I kick myself for not owning a tape dispenser. Without fail, I have to search for the end of the sellotape with every piece needed. I try leaving a flap sticking up, or creating a small bulge, but it just vanishes. Those are minutes and hours I have wasted.
Searching for tools. I have a toolbox (I am MAN, hear me ROAAAR) but I always consider DIY finished when the picture is hung or the shelf screwed in. Tidying up afterwards doesn’t feature- in much the same way that men don’t fiddle around making salads for a braai (barbecue). What? I made FIRE! I cooked the meat! (ROAAAR).
Anyway. Finding the end of the toilet paper, looking for sharp thingies to take the metal seals off wine bottles, picking up lego which has just pierced the sole of my foot, picking up socks which fall on the ground when I’m hanging up the washing, waiting for the menu screen on DVDs…
My life has vanished into that black hole.
I won’t even mention the personal hygiene stuff: washing hands, brushing teeth, weeing, washing hands again (see?- not a complete slob). Then there is just tidying, washing clothes, ironing, ironing, ironing, changing nappies (lost about a year on that alone!), walking to the station, travelling by train, going to the shop to get groceries, going a second time because I forget stuff.
All this adds up. Which leaves me with approximately twelve seconds of ‘free’ time per day: seven to write stupid stuff on the internet, 4 to work, and one second of totally free time to just sit and enjoy life.
So in total, over my lifetime, I will (optimistically) have one minute and twenty seconds of metime. Unless I buy a tape dispenser, in which case I will gain approximately 52 years.
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