Friday, October 9, 2009

Getting Your Rocks Off

It’s no big deal- stop panicking! So a big orb of rock and dust is going to be pocked with tiny missile craters? Pech!! It isn’t as though we’ll miss it if it turns out to be a huge grey party balloon, which will deflate, shooting across the universe with the loudest sound of flatulence EVER.

Maybe there will be a star-struck romantic who will no longer be able to gaze at the moon and think of a distant lover looking at the same.
Maybe the cow will have to find something else to jump over.
Maybe lunar-gardeners can take up air guitar, instead.
Maybe it isn’t so bad- we’ll never be plagued by lycanthropic lunatics again.
Maybe we won’t miss college students shoving their backsides out of moving cars.
Maybe there will be a vein of pure stilton running through the heart of it.
Maybe those who follow a lunar calendar will have to just count on their toes.
Maybe it isn’t so bad for industry- flag designers are about to make a loooot of money redesigning.
Maybe I’m not the only person who has instant nausea on hearing the song which contains the lyrics “I saw Brigadoooooon”
Come to think of it, what about the one about the river being “wider than a mile”, and the other about the “big pizza pie”?

Culturally, we’ve not got much to miss when they bomb the moon.

But I will miss the cool blue reflected glow of the arbiter and orbiter of our nightly histories. Farewell, sky blob.


  1. I wonder how many women's menstrual cycle will be affected...

  2. @angel: All those moon-bombing-day babies. Scary.


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