Thursday, May 21, 2009

Which nose would you pick?

If you’d prefer not to partake in some oversharing (little too late, but anyway), then click on that little red ‘x’ to the top right of your screen.

I pick my nose. Not for entertainment, in the same way that some people on the train do, or to pass the time, the way some people do while paused at traffic lights; I pick out of necessity.

I’m sure you’d rather I did that, discreetly, than be forced to watch a greenish chunk whiffling around in a nostril-breeze. Nothing worse than trying to talk to someone who doesn’t know (or-perish the thought-care) that they have the entire contents of their sinuses pretending that it’s Christmas Eve and their nose is being entered in a most-decorated competition.

What do you say to people like that? Do you just get out a tissue and slide it across to them while using body language to point out the offending article? Or do you just reach over and wipe?

Having lived with three seeping faces for years now, I can safely attest that children have no sense of shame when it comes to bogies. Giant walrus fangs of snot go unnoticed. But they also tend to end up on the sides of chairs, trouser legs and brand new furniture throws.

I do get snotty. I have allergies *coughs, geekily*, and I have made the move from tissues to handkerchiefs. Or bogey-collection rags. Whatever- they do the job. Tissues just end up spangling the washing when they get left in pockets. Nothing worse than kissing your wife, and your nose starts running- having to try and inhale constantly to reverse the, er, tide…

But the point is this: Everybody considers it poor form to pick your nose, but really, it is so much better than just allowing a crust the size of the Swiss Alps to form on your upper lip. As long as you do it in private- which is pretty much the rule for most bodily functions. Or at least make sure your webcam is turned off, first.

Dedicated to ExMi and Neen.


  1. Hi, on off topic question. My blog roll is getting long and useless (that's what she said) so I'm putting together a link page with graphics. Do you mind if I grab your soup image?

  2. @MDL:Sure, you can grab my soup any time (which sounds oddly lascivious). Can you get it, or should I cut and paste the code?

  3. oh GROSS! I thinkI wont be sitting on any of your encrusted chairs in my lifetime ;)

  4. @brandy101: We'd buy new ones, in honour of your nether regions...

  5. you can pick - just as long as you don't flick! ;-)

  6. That is the most stirring defense of nose-picking I've ever read.

  7. @Cybersass: That's very generous of you. Eeeeew. Regretting this post, seriously.
    @Briane P: You come across many defenses in your reading travels? Please don't link me to any others:-)

  8. This is vintage Scott. No-one else could write a post about boogers. Well done friend xx


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