Monday, March 30, 2009

Confession: I punched a girl

I’ve punched a girl before. And a five-year-old boy. And my best friend. I’m just warning you. The logical me would never do those things, but the ticklish me…

Neen asks why I can’t control my reaction to being tickled. I really don’t know. I suspect that if you filmed it, it would take nanoseconds for me to lash out. I’ll be standing there, quietly, thinking inane thoughts, such as maybe it is better to dye all the white clothes red or pink, since that rogue sock got in and started the process, when BAM!You didn’t even see that one coming. There was a pair of hands at the top of my ribs, just under my arms, and my body defended itself.

Jonah keeps waking me up in the night- yes- I know he’s three and should be sleeping in his own bed all night- but he doesn’t- Since a baby, his nocturnal comfort has been to slide his hand under the sleeve of my t-shirt, which makes me leap out of bed, my nerves jangling like a bell-ringing contest at church. Takes me ages to fall asleep, and he does that all night. Feels like Guantanamo Bay.

The girl was a girlfriend at school, the child the son of friends. Terrible! I sprained my thumb badly, and gave the five-year-old a beeeeeeg black eye, and I mean real raccoon eye. I couldn’t pick anything up for a month with that hand, so I must’ve hit him pretty damned hard. I’m just not a violent person. It frightens me that I could have this violence coiled up inside. About the only thing it's good for is if I get mugged by someone with roving fingers.

It’s programmed there, this tactile defensiveness, so for the moment, I’ll just warn you to keep your distance…


  1. I'll hit two with one comment:

    I once got told "Not working up to potential" on a report card -- that accompanied an "A" in Advanced Placement English. (The sad part? He was right.)

    As for the tickling, I don't blame you a bit. I'm ticklish, too, and my ticklish zones start about 3 feet from my body.

  2. I have the exact same affliction. I cannot be held responsible for my actions if I am tickled. I have yet to give a 5-year-old a shiner, though.

  3. @Briane: Potentially, then, yuo are quite ticklish, but I'll have to see if yuo live up to it...
    @Abby: Don't tell me you haven't been tempted!


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