Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Hey, Babe, anyone ever tell you you are really dishy?

Just realised that sometimes I layer stuff in my head- I hum a lot, and it sounds much better there than being squeezed through my nostrils- must sound like an adenoidal bee to other people. But I wasn’t hearing just one song; it was a few different ones at the same time…

  • Drums from the Dead Kennedys song ‘California Uber Alles’
  • Bass from Joy Division ‘Heart and Soul’
  • Rhythm guitar by Johnny Cash- any unchukka, unchukka song
  • Voices! I hear voices! Nina Simone’s talking, octave bending call and
  • All three at once! Lou Reed, Bob Dylan and Leonard Cohen and their respective narrative brilliance
  • Some really short lead guitar solos- Clapton, Harrison, and maybe a couple of Buzzcock riffs

    This is what is caterwauling through my head, along with the chorus of three children acting in opposition with each other. You mean you don’t hear all of that, all the time? Fibbers! I also tell myself jokes- hey! I’m an audience that’s easy to please, and think up bad plots to novels that never happen:
    Here’s an example;
    This is a novel written in Tweets- each sentence a separate thought- a man finds himself locked out of his own house, and can’t override the security system. He can’t remember how to bypass all the complex codes, and has to go to hypnotherapy to see if the therapist can unlock the codes in his head. While under hypnosis, he reveals the reason for his paranoia and secrecy, and why he has secured his house like that. The therapist is very, very afraid.
    But the novel has to be written on Twitter. Any publishers biting? Didn’t think so.

    And all of this is wrestling with the usual culprits for space in my brain-food-sex-drinking-parenting-work-oh-yes-work-friendships-not-too-many-of-those-around-lately-putting-off-tidying-the-house…..
    I could go on.

    Make the noises stop!
    Make the voices stop!
    Is this what it’s like for everybody?
    *Editors note: Scott has had approximately 6 hours sleep total in four days, and is classifiably insane- stand back- he’s not responsible for his actions, and is just not going to provide links to all those music artists. So there.


  1. hey at least its good music. could be junk like Britney spears...'oh baby baby i wasn't supposed to know...'

  2. But clearly you do, GeoJoe!
    Much in the same way I unwillingly discovered the Jonas Brothers- repeatedly- with my children dancing around...

  3. Uhm Scott - NO it's not like that for all of us. Bit worried about you now. Sometimes I hear Enya in my head and sometimes i talk to myself or argue but many artists at once and the odd (very odd) book plot - no not so much. GET SOME SLEEP. GO TO BED when the kids do. Ok will stop shouting at you now.

  4. I did sleep, a little. Stop shouting at me!
    Enya! uuuurrrrgh. I'd rather inhale a porcupine than listen to Enya.

  5. That novel might get me to go to Twitter.

    Surefire cure for any song being stuck in your head? "The Star-Spangled Banner." My roommate in law school taught me that, and it remains the most useful thing I learned in those three years.

  6. Does that mean you are a lawyer? If so- can I trust you?


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