Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Thanks for the Mammories

And, like Lady Macbeth, I need to out some damned spots, so I’ll give you something less graphic to read…

I wish I had a better memory. Not for everything, because, let’s face it, some things are just too nasty to replay. But for names, faces, people, some events. I can’t remember my first kiss. Just can’t. I can’t remember everything about the night I met Neen. (It was in a nightclub where I worked on the door- she was carrying a baseball bat with nails stuck in it- long story- it involves lots of tequila and me proposing to her using a flier and my eye-liner pencil. It was the 80’s, ok?)

I can’t remember many things. Some people can. Neen has a word-perfect recall for TV shows and conversations. Particularly conversations where I say something cruel and unusual. Mea Culpa. My older brother, who manages the oldest restaurant in London has a perfect memory for the most obscure TV personality- ‘HEY! That’s Lindon Twiblet- don’t you remember? He was the midget third from the left in Blake’s Seven episode 4b!” It’s his job to make sure ‘celebrities’ are observed, acknowledged and butt-kissed.

So some people remember words, some, faces and names. I remember weird useless stuff, like the way my best friend’s house when I was five smelled like geraniums, or entire advertising jingles from the seventies. Do I want to have those things playing in a loop in my head? NO!!! I want lovely thoughts.

I wish I could leave you with a cheerful quote, but I can’t remember the source. It’s either Woody Allen or Billy Connolly. (Just try it in different accents, maybe you can figure it out!):

(On bumping into someone)
Hmmm, yeees, I remember your name, but your face escapes me…


  1. I somewhat share your curse:

    "Aunt Jemina frozen pancake batter
    From Aunt Jemina, so it tastes just great!
    No measurin'
    No mixin'
    Just real easy fixin'
    Three minutes from package to plate!"

    This jingle has been locked in my head since the mid-'70s when I was 8 or so. Yep, I can never remember my wife's work phone number.

  2. I guess the only proof of the effectiveness of those jingles is whether or not you use the product...
    But that was a lovely song, thank you!

  3. Dude! I so know what you mean! My head is stuffed with general knowledge and song lyrics but I'll be blowed if I can remember anything important like actors names or band members names...

  4. haha
    where would I be without google!
    The importance of those things is debatable...


Say something! It can't be worse than what I have said. Note: Sometimes you have to press 'comment' twice. Stupid comments thingy.