Tuesday, March 24, 2009

The forgotten food group: Artificialia


This is purely for the kids. I really can cook. As much as I like oven chips and fish fingers (and their less popular cousins, peas and tomato sauce)- this was not an adult meal. I suppose I could get all revisionist, describe it with continental flair- A tousled nest of lightly fried game-fish, becrumbed in a golden fashion, warmly mated with lightly seasoned amusingly rippled French fries, accompanied by organic peas, sweetened in the kitchen, and a robust tomato condiment….
‘Condiment!’- Hahaha!!! Sounds like a rude word… (I remain painfully male sometimes).
Actually I did make a concession to my own preferences- look closer-This not-really-cooking meal is served on the finest recyclable paper plates. It’s only been a month. Starting to really miss Neen… 6 and a half weeks to go!

It’s difficult to ‘cook’, when you have James wanting to show you he doesn’t need help with his maths homework, Jonah repeating the same phrase over and over like a head-case- I mean, the kid is two and a half- I’m changing his nappy on Sunday, and he crosses his legs, pinches his forefingers and thumbs- squints at me and goes ‘OOOOOOOM….OM……OM….’ And laughs. It’s not like we get visited by the Dalai Lama (especially not lately), so where does it come from??

And Hannah is stream-of-consciousnessing: ‘James, in a thousand years will you still be alive? OBVIOUSLY NO!’, and, about my library book: ‘Now THAT is truly gross! (Me-what?)- That book has GERMS on it! Because it’s a nice book, and other people will read it with their hands, and their hands will have germs on them…’ and ‘you know tonsillitis? I think tonsils are on your tongue, or in your body or something’, and…’ Dad! I hate pricks! I never ever wanna get a prick. If I get a prick, I’ll scream louder like an alarm’. *I think that's what she calls injections/syringes

You go, girl.

It’s been a long, long day.

10 comments:

  1. HAHAHAHAH we both blogged about peas. Ok it's late and that's the best i can do for a comment dammit. Hannah's stream very funny!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Mwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...
    Where'd she hear about a prick of all things?!!?

    ReplyDelete
  3. @ Bee: Peas are the best. Pea synchronicity- it's like we are family!
    @Angel: She was talking about injections/syringes (I think)- I really hope so.

    ReplyDelete
  4. "A tousled nest of lightly fried game-fish, becrumbed in a golden fashion, warmly mated with lightly seasoned amusingly rippled French fries, accompanied by organic peas, sweetened in the kitchen"

    ha! nice spin… fish sticks, soggy fries and peas have never sounded more delici---er, tolerable.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Haaaaaaaaa. I heart my children. They're insane, but they're mine. Yes, Angel: pricks are injections: she had one when she was 3 and she had a blood test for her peanut allergy. She neeeeeever forgot it.

    ReplyDelete
  6. The insanity is all yours, Neen. I've met your family.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I'm just glad you practiced safe eating of fake food and used a condiment.

    And hey, I hate pricks too. Bastards.

    ReplyDelete
  8. @Abby: hahahahahahahahaha
    That was a good one- neatly summed up the whole post- next time I'll try not to be so verbose.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Is everyone eating peas today? Oh, man, what's this world coming to?

    Your posts are awesome, and you do way better cooking dinner with your kids around than I do with mine.

    ReplyDelete
  10. @Briane Ssssssh, here's the fifty we agreed on...

    ReplyDelete

Say something! It can't be worse than what I have said. Note: Sometimes you have to press 'comment' twice. Stupid comments thingy.