Thursday, April 9, 2009

Counting to ten, punching walls






















I used to relate better to Tintin, but, lately, I’m veering dangerously towards Captain Haddock.
I once used to think of myself as a peace-lover, but lately, I seem to be more like a war-monger.
I used to be able to control my temper, but now when I see RED, I am almost certain my eyes bulge a little.
I must practice internalizing my rage more, or I could end up imploding.
I feel like I am standing in wet concrete, and I would love the footprints left behind to be happy ones, skipping a merry jig through life, but at the moment they are leaden and dull impressions.I used to relate better to Tintin, but, lately, I’m veering dangerously towards Captain Haddock.
I once used to think of myself as a peace-lover, but lately, I seem to be more like a war-monger.
I used to be able to control my temper, but now when I see RED, I am almost certain my eyes bulge a little.
I must practice internalizing my rage more, or I could end up imploding.
I feel like I am standing in wet concrete, and I would love the footprints left behind to be happy ones, skipping a merry jig through life, but at the moment they are leaden and dull impressions. When you are mostly around children, especially wound up children, it is incredibly hard not to respond to their chaos with your own inner-brat. Time for me spank myself/stand in the naughty corner/lose my pocket money privileges.

Consistency is not easy. James asked me what ‘tilt’ means in pinball- well- that’s how I feel- tilted. I was bouncing in one direction with painful ease, and suddenly… Off again, never quite hitting the bells I want to. When you are mostly around children, especially wound up children, it is incredibly hard not to respond to their chaos with your own inner-brat. Time for me spank myself/stand in the naughty corner/lose my pocket money privileges.

Consistency is not easy. James asked me what ‘tilt’ means in pinball- well- that’s how I feel- tilted. I was bouncing in one direction with painful ease, and suddenly… Off again, never quite hitting the bells I want to.

6 comments:

  1. This is why I wonder just HOW do those elementary school teachers do it day after day after day....

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  2. Well, you don't have to tell ME twice. Or maybe you do... I feel this is a serious post, yet I don't know how to respond. Help!

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  3. I understand. I really and truly do.

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  4. @Abby: They must be partially, or wholly, insane.
    @NGIP: Think there was a bit of overkill?- guess so.. Just the butt end of a difficult day, so I do get a bit melodramatic... You can responf by striking me on the head with a rolled up newspaper.
    @Sam: And now it's tomorrow, and it is better again...

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  5. I hope you're doing better now... keep your chin up and wrestle the kids or go for a jog or something. Or start a crusade against something that's meaningless otherwise. Like Mayonnaise. Take your rage out on Mayo.

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  6. @Briane P: Damn you, mayonnaise! with your pale complexion and your eggy aftertaste.

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