Sunday, April 19, 2009

Three living children. Shoulda given them today's newspaper to prove it.

Seeing as I am not a husband at the moment- Neen, gone for two months for ‘work’ to the States, me, sadly mooching at home (whoooohoooo- quite enjoying doing things my way!), and longing for her return- erm, guess I could tell you a pack of lies about the children that will make you jealous of my 5-star fathering.

James is the oldest at nine, happy with snack food and a good book. Occasionally gets creative with his homework completion. But he’s been ok without his mommy.

Hannah, six, is the crazy one- wild ideas, constantly singing songs she makes up, and over thinking things: Like tonight: the burgers I ordered after the rain forced me to call off the braai (barbecue)- Hannah picks up the little seasoning sachet, and says DAD! I will never, never eat this! Why H? Because it is deadly poisonous! Eh? You get it in shoes, and boxes and things! Oooooohhhh! I get it. She means those silicon sachets that come with goods to stop them from getting damp. Must have warned her about them a little too strenuously. See? Crazy. She sometimes weeps for mommy, and has, by my reckoning, made 2396 drawings and cards for mommy ‘for when she gets home’.

And Jonah. At almost-three (in May), he is one tough kid. Normally really good looking, too. Gets his way, every time. He has missed mommy, but mostly he just can’t understand why he can’t really interact with her on Skype video. Tries touching the screen. Anyway. He has the worst chickenpox blisters I have ever seen right now- scalp, lips, eyelids and everywhere else. Huge ones. He’s hardly complaining, but he looks terrible. Poor child.

So they are all still alive after eight weeks without mommy, and so am I. Two weeks to go today!

You really don’t need to see photos of me. Generic bald guy. Ok Just one. Hey! It took me less than five minutes to shave my entire head and face this morning with a safety razor. No cuts! No mirror to check back of head! Pretty damned impressive, if you ask me. You are welcome to try and beat that time, if you have what it takes…


  1. I normally would jump at the chance to beat somebody's record, but given my hair situation and how badly I want to keep it....I shall pass on your challenge.

    Good job keeping the kids alive!!

  2. @Beej So no red wig for me anytime soon? They are alive, it's the quality of that life which is questionable.

  3. @Beej- Sorry V insensitive about the hair thing, I realised! It's different for men- we expect it, hair vanishing.

  4. I suppose I'd rather wear a hat than a red wig, but I'm REALLY hoping even that's a big no.

    I figure quality of life is relative. If they seem fine, they probably are. Besides, kids are hearty...they bounce back easily. yes? :-)

  5. aw, for the pox! no fun for everyone...
    Good to see you're still surviving!

  6. @Beej: A red hat... He seems happier today, bouncing back, scabs flying with every bounce.
    @stopbouncing: More or less surviving, ringing that leper's bell UNCLEAN, UNCLEAN!

  7. I was thinking about shaving my hair down below where it is, once, but I chickened out.

    Great looking kids.

  8. @Briane P: I have no idea what you look like...
    Great lookin' meeee you meant to say, surely?

  9. You have been doing an AMAZING job with these kids while your wife has been away. I don't know if my hubby could do that. More power to you :)

  10. @supermom: Hope you cc'd Neen in on that comment! Hey, children more or less look after themselves, don't they?

  11. Dude... just the thought of a razor blade near the skin of my head makes me cringe!


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