Saturday, April 25, 2009

The Four Pigeons of the Apocalypse

I’m a chronic doodler. Attention span of a gnat. If I’m on the phone, my hand, not my mind reaches for something to doodle on. Envelopes, bills, the phonebook… Sometimes I look at the drawings and scribbles afterwards, and wonder how they got there, what quarter of my brain they have been lurking in. Usually animals and birds, sometimes very depressed-looking people. Who are they? Do I have an army of them?

None of them are close to approaching art, but they are my friends. I let them sit here, next to the phone, before I bin them. I do paint pictures, for fun, but those are very different- maybe I’ll post one or two. These things, the doodles, only exist in the mind of a distracted man. Imagine an artist who can’t create without a phone receiver stuck to his head. It has to be a landline, too. A cell phone takes too much concentration.

This blog gets like that. I sit down, my head gets emptier, the more I try to think of things to write. Eventually, at best, a word pops into my head, and I write, almost automatically, like a disembodied hand in an Arthur Conan Doyle story, scribbling across the keys. Sometimes it works, sometimes, well, see below for details.

I don’t edit, I may go back in and take out a typo, but this is as close as you will get to seeing bilge pouring forth from the engine room of my ship. Wait. Bilge is in the ballast tanks, right? Ah, well, bilge is weighing me down, and I need a place to pump it out. Splaaaaaat.

Very deep stuff. Welcome my four friends above. I call them the Four Pigeons of the Apocalypse. I wanted to name them, but their roles remained unrevealed to me. I think they control my mind... You can fear them or feed them. It’s up to you. Thank you to all of you for holding the receiver up to my ear, instead of throttling me with the cord.


  1. I like the pigeons; they look happy in a mischievous sort of way ;)

  2. @Brandy101: That's just want they want you to think... lull you into a false sense of security...

  3. I tend to do this as well. Hearts, diamonds, flowers, you should see my desk pad at work. I even bought a whole series of gel glitter pens just for this. Bic says it's the click that helps you think, but I think it's the doodles. Yours are at least recognisable as something :)

  4. @SMP: Recognisable as the indicators of serious mental illness. Aaah well, they're my friends, the doves of doom.

  5. "None of them are close to approaching art, but they are my friends"

    Mine too. Freud would have a heyday with this.

  6. PS
    The one front and centre looks a bit constipated.
    Could be it has Firth-espque aspirations ...

  7. @Abby: Btetter imaginary friends, than imaginary enemies...
    @SMP: He's just waiting for that 'lucky' shoulder.

  8. You're excellent -- post more doodles. I want a t-shirt with that and "Four Pigeons of the Apocalypse" on it. Get to work, man!

  9. @briane P: Read the blog, got the T-shirt? Hmm, I like that- you are very good at cross-marketing. I'd be sensible and go by pre-ordering only...


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